How to Practice Active Listening

How to Practice Active Listening Social Anxiety Disorder Coping Print How to Practice Active Listening By Arlin Cuncic Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder and 7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety. Learn about our editorial policy Arlin Cuncic Updated on September 27, 2019 Morsa Images/Taxi/Getty Images More in Social Anxiety Disorder Coping Symptoms Diagnosis Treatment and Therapy Work and School Related Conditions In This Article Table of Contents Expand Features Purpose Benefits Tips Examples Research Distraction and Disinterest View All Back To Top Active listening refers to a pattern of listening that keeps you engaged with your conversation partner in a positive way. It is the process of listening attentively while someone else speaks, paraphrasing and reflecting back what is said, and withholding judgment and advice. When you practice active listening, you make the other person feel heard and valued. In this way, active listening is the foundation for any successful conversation. What Are the Features of Active Listening? Active listening involves more than just hearing someone speak. When you practice active listening, you are fully concentrating on what is being said. You listen with all of your senses and give your full attention to the person speaking. Below are some features of active listening:?? Neutral and nonjudgmentalPatient (periods of silence are not filled)Verbal and nonverbal feedback to show signs of listening (e.g., smiling, eye contact, leaning in, mirroring)Asking questionsReflecting back what is saidAsking for clarificationSummarizing In this way, active listening is the opposite of passive hearing. When you listen actively, you are fully engaged and immersed in what the other person is saying. Much like a therapist listening to a client, you are there to act as a sounding board rather than ready to jump in with your own ideas and opinions about what is being said. The Purpose of Active Listening Active listening serves the purpose of earning the trust of others and helping you to understand their situations. Active listening comprises both a desire to comprehend as well as to offer support and empathy to the speaker. It differs from critical listening, in that you are not evaluating the message of the other person with the goal of offering your own opinion. Rather, the goal is simply for the other person to be heard, and perhaps to solve their own problems. Active listening means not engaging in bad listening habits such as the following: Being stuck in your own headNot showing respect for the speakerOnly hearing superficial meaning (not hearing underlying meaning)InterruptingNot making eye contactRushing the speakerBecoming distractedTopping the story (saying that reminds me of the time...)Forgetting what was said in the pastAsking about unimportant detailsFocusing too much on details and missing the big pictureIgnoring what you dont understandDaydreamingOnly pretending to pay attention Benefits of Active Listening Relationships Active listening has many benefits. It allows you to understand the point of view of another person and respond with empathy. It also allows you to ask questions to make sure you understand what is being said. Finally, it validates the speaker and makes them want to speak longer.?? Its not hard to see how this type of listening would benefit relationships. Being an active listener in a relationship means that you recognize that the conversation is more about your partner than about you. This is especially important when a relationship partner is distressed. Your ability to listen actively to a partner going through a difficult time is a valuable skill. In addition, active listening helps relationships in that you will be less likely to jump in with a quick fix when the other person really just wants to be heard. Work Active listening at work is particularly important if you are in a supervisory position or must deal with colleagues. Active listening allows you to understand problems and collaborate to develop solutions. It also reflects your patience, a valuable skill in any workplace. Social Situations In social situations, active listening will benefit you as you meet new people. Asking questions, seeking clarification, and watching body language are all ways to learn more about the people whom you meet. When you listen actively, the other person is also likely to speak to you for a longer time. This makes active listening one of the best ways to turn acquaintances into friends. Tips for Practicing Active Listening The following tips will help you to become a better active listener: Make eye contact while the other person speaks. In general, you should aim for eye contact about 60-70% of the time while you are listening. Lean toward the other person, and nod your head occasionally. Avoid folding your arms as this signals that you are not listening.Instead of offering unsolicited advice or opinions, simply paraphrase what has been said. You might start this off by saying In other words, what you are saying is....Do not interrupt while the other person is speaking. Do not prepare your reply while the other person speaks; the last thing that he or she says may change the meaning of what has already been said.In addition to listening to what is said, watch nonverbal behavior to pick up on hidden meaning. Facial expressions, tone of voice, and other behaviors can sometimes tell you more than words alone.While listening, shut down your internal dialogue. Avoid daydreaming. It is impossible to attentively listen to someone else and your own internal voice at the same t ime.Show interest by asking questions to clarify what is said. Ask open-ended questions to encourage the speaker. Avoid closed yes-or-no questions that tend to shut down the conversation.Avoid abruptly changing the subject; it will appear that you were not listening to the other person.As you listen, be open, neutral, and withhold judgment and stereotypes.Be patient while you listen. We are capable of listening much faster than others can speak.Learn to recognize active listening. Watch television interviews and observe whether the interviewer is practicing active listening. Learn from the mistakes of others. Example of Active Listening Below is an example of active listening. Lisa: Im sorry to dump this on you, but I had a fight with my sister and we havent spoken since. Im upset and dont know who to talk to. Jodie: No problem! Tell me more about what happened? Lisa: Well, we were arguing about what to do for our parents anniversary. Im still so angry. Jodie: Oh thats tough. You must feel upset that youre not speaking because of it. Lisa: Yes, she just makes me so angry. She assumed I would help her plan this elaborate partyâ€"I dont have time! Its like she couldnt see things from my perspective at all. Jodie: Wow, thats too bad. How did that make you feel? Lisa: Frustrated. Angry. Maybe a bit guilty that she had all these plans and I was the one holding them back. Finally, I told her to do it without me. But thats not right either. Jodie: Sounds complicated. I bet you need some time to sort out how you feel about it. Lisa: Yes, I guess I do. Thanks for listening, I just needed to vent. Research on Active Listening In a 2011 study, it was found that active listening was primarily associated with verbal social skills rather than nonverbal skills,?? suggesting that being an active listener has more to do with being an effective conversational partner rather than an ability to regulate nonverbal and emotional communication. What does this mean if you live with social anxiety? People who are active and empathic listeners are good at initiating and maintaining conversations. If you develop your active listening skills, you will improve your conversational ability??â€"however, dont expect that to help reduce any symptoms of anxiety you normally feel. You will need to address your anxiety separately, through therapy or another form of treatment, in order for your active listening skills to shine through. How Poor Communication Causes Stress What If Someone Isnt Actively Listening? What if you are the one speaking and the other person isnt being an active listener? All of us have been in a situation where the person listening to us was distracted or disinterested. Below are some tips to help you with this situation. Find a topic that interests you both. This works particularly well during small talk as you try to get to know one another.Model good listening skills yourself. Instead of trying to speak to someone who just isnt a good listener, become the listener yourself. In doing so, you might help that person learn how to become a better listener.Exit the conversation if its clear the other person is only interested in hearing himself speak. A Word From Verywell Active listening is an important social skill that has value in a variety of social settings. Practice this skill often and it will become easier for you. If you find it hard to engage in active listening, consider whether there might be something getting in the way, such as social anxiety or problems with inattention. If you regularly find yourself unable to listen effectively, you might benefit from social skills training or reading a self-help book on interpersonal skills. An Overview of Social Skills Training

Sharepoint Administrator At Cygtec Inc - 965 Words

SharePoint Administrator at Cygtec Inc Cygtec Inc Introduction Cygtec Inc. is an IT company founded on June 22nd 2006. Cygtec Inc. provides two main services namely speed and flexibility, outsourcing and off shoring. This company has provided prompt response to the client specific needs and also provides tailor made solutions. Cygtec Inc. has planned its operational methodologies to adjust to the needs and changes of the developing business world. Cygtec Inc. help customers change their business through technology (B.V.Abhilash, personal communication, May 15, 2015). Cygtec Inc have established its expertise across multiple areas of information Technology (IT) domains such as IVR, ETL, INFORMATICA, J2EE, GENSYS, CTI, SAS, ORACLE, VXML,†¦show more content†¦It is used for searching, sharing, collaborating, and enhancing the typical and user’s daily life. SharePoint is one of the big product of Microsoft. The implementation of share point is mainly depending on the needs and client requirements. SharePoint perhaps is also helped to collect, manage and find out the information regardless of data type and even if we don’t know where it is stored (Shivaji, personal communication, May 18, 2015). SharePoint is a complex technology where diverse skill set is required to succeed as SharePoint admin. SharePoint is a .net frame work. SharePoint Admin should have knowledge on DBA, Web developer and network admin. Microsoft Corporation has released its new version of SharePoint 2013 which is compatible for office 360. The key responsibi lity of SharePoint administrator is to make the working environment available up and running (Shailender, Personal communication, May 18, 2015). SharePoint Administrator is responsible for creating secure dynamic websites using predefined templates for organization departments to collaborate. SharePoint is a web application uses internet information services to verify the incoming and outgoing traffic. SharePoint stores the information and provides access to the personnel who are authorized to view that information (Shivaji, personal communication, May 18, 2015). Methodology Action Research Action Research the name itself says â€Å"learn while doing†.

Personal Narrative- Nearly Fatal Car Accident Essay

The fluorescent lights blinded me as I tried to open my eyes. Where am I, I thought to myself? I jolted my head back and forth desperately trying to figure out where I was. I heard a voice say, Hold him down, we are almost there. A sharp pain ran down my back to my feet. All I could see were lights flashing and shadows moving in all directions. The rolling bed that I was on stopped abruptly and a mask was placed over my face. I tried not to breathe, but in less than a second I was unconscious. In no apparent order multiple scenes began to flash through my head. My thoughts turned to nothing, and for one minute all I saw in my mind was an everlasting black hole accompanied by a single deafening beep. Suddenly, I awoke to the clanging†¦show more content†¦I remembered that I was supposed to play golf today at 2:30p.m. I got dressed for golf, grabbed my clubs, and headed out the door. When I got to the golf course I met up with my friends. We checked into the pro shop, bought some golf balls, and headed to the first hole to begin. All through the round every shot felt so familiar. After the round, my friend Alan and I went into the nineteenth hole to get something to eat. Hey Logan, whats on for tonight, where are we throwin it down? I looked at Alan as if he was joking around. I was positive that we had already talked about what we were doing tonight. I heard about a party out at Bud Lake. Lets get some refreshments and party at my house while my parents are out to dinner and then we can head on over to that party. That sounds cool. Can I bring Stacy? She has been dying to come party with us. She asks me everyday if she can hang out with us. Sure, I dont think anyone will mind if we roll into Bud Lake with some girls. I am going to call Meredith right when I get home and see what she is up to tonight. Maybe if Im lucky, she will want to come too. Cool. Ill be over at your house at eight. Sounds good to me. 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Styal Mill Coursework Notes Free Essays

Coursework factors Finally he decided on Styal, a small hamlet north of Wilmslow. Styal is located close to Manchester, the Bridge water canal is only 8 miles away and the land was big enough. One of the important reasons Greg chose the site is because of the transport links. We will write a custom essay sample on Styal Mill Coursework Notes or any similar topic only for you Order Now The bridge water canal would provide easy shipping of cotton near to the mill, then the last few miles would have to be done by horse and cart. Manchester is close to Styal, this is good because Manchester was one of the biggest industrial cities and this would provide Greg with workers and raw materials. Liverpool is relatively close to Styal. Geographical factors also played a part in the choosing of the Styal location because on that land the river Bolin flowed through. Greg used the river Bolin as a power source for his mill and the machinery. Arkwrites water frame was invented to use the water to drive the wheel and drive lots of cogs and shafts that made the machinery run. Another factor is the land was cheap. This is because the land was infertile and wasn’t very good for farming crops, so Greg got a good deal – cheap land with an added bonus, the river Bolin. Also the land was a good environment for cotton making because it had a damp atmosphere; this helps the cotton to not break as its being spun. Another factor was workers. Styal was close to many towns and cities. The main one was Manchester. Greg could employ workers from workhouses in Manchester to come and work in his mill. This was easy because Manchester was very close. Greg could also employ people from Liverpool for the same reasons. Also Greg employed a few people from as far as London also. Another factor was money. Greg came into a lot of money, ? 800. Samuel Greg chose the site for Quarry Bank Mill because: – It was near a river. The machines were powered by water and Samuel Greg needed a lot of water. Water – power is a cheap, reliable, fast flowing and easy source of getting power. Water was also needed to give to the workers to drink and put into the food. -There was a lot of land in the countryside. The more land Samuel Greg had, the bigger his factory could be and the more machines he could have. Samuel Greg got investors to pay towards him buying the land, as well as the huge amount of money he already had. The land he did choose was cheap anyway so not many investors were needed. -With the land being in the countryside, there was a lot of soil to grow crops in. The crops that were grown were given to the workers to eat at meal times. -Quarry Bank Mill was quite close to the main destinations Liverpool and Manchester. This was probably so that goods could travel to both of the destinations at the same amount of time. Lots of the cotton that Quarry Bank Mill produced was taken to the main destinations as cotton was popular there and could easily be sold for the price Samuel Greg wanted. Liverpool gave Quarry bank Mill the materials it needed to make cotton and Manchester sold the cotton. Transport like canals ; factor How to cite Styal Mill Coursework Notes, Essay examples

Legend Essays - Indian Films, Huma Bird, Persian Mythology

Legend Of Huma 1. The theme of this novel is that which one would expect from a story about a knight. Much of the novel deals with the honor of one's country, one's countrymen, and one's god. Huma, the hero of the novel, has a chance to run off with the girl he loves and abandon his mission because he is presumed dead. He overcomes this temptation , however, and continues his brave mission to save his world. Another instance of temptation to take the easy way out, but lose honor, occours at the very instant that he was about to complete his quest. While fighting the Dragonqueen, she offers him the chance to rule by her side for an eternity. He refuses her and eventually dies while defeating her, and maintains his honor. 10. Huma's close friend and fellow knight, Rennard, had been strangely stricken with the plague earlier in his life. He also befriends Huma when many criticize him. His features were very pale, and he did not show much emotion at all. These things are all common in the followers of the god of disease. Because Rennard had been a Knight for so long, no one thought anything about his resemblance to the god of disease. Later, it is discovered by Huma that Rennard was indeed a follower of the god of disease. Huma discovers this as Rennard is about to kill Grand Master, the knighthood's leader. The author chose to use this foreshadowing as a complete surprise to the reader. It was only a small hint, but it was enough to make one take notice. In another part of the story, Huma was separated from his friend Kaz , a monitor. Huma found a knight's outpost on the edge of the forest and hopes Kaz will find him. Later the knights went out to capture a beast that the elves told them was in the forest. To Huma's surprise the searching party returned with poor Kaz trapped in their nets. The author obviously used this as a good way to re-enter Kaz into the story after Kaz had been lost. 2. Dragon Mountain was a particularly important place in the story. While exploring its vast caves , Huma defeated the three trials of honor. At the end of these trials he became a worthy knight to defeat the Dragonqueen. Also, he met a ancient blacksmith who gave him twenty dragon lances that were used to defeat the Dragonqueen. 5. The novel basically ends in Huma defeating the Dragonqueen. Huma is riding his dragon, who also takes the human form of Gwyneth ( Huma's love), and drives the dragonlance into the Dragonqueen. The dragonlance breaks off into the Dragonqueen's body; this does not kill her, but she cannot remove the lance. Huma and Gwyneth are plummeted toward the mountain below and barely survive the inncedent. After a short while , Huma decides it is best to let the Dragonqueen go with the exception that she will never return to his world again. After the queen departs Huma and Gwyneth die in each others arms and go to a form of paradise. The novels ending is a good one in that it ends Huma's quest to save his world. Huma gains great honor and even becomes a legend for the deeds he did for his world. Also, I must voice my opinion about the deaths of both Huma and Gwyneth. I feel that their deaths were a bad choice by the author. Although this made the story more realistic, it left the story on a downfall that , to me , overshadowed Huma's victory. I would have ended on a happy note. 7. There were two big examples of irony in this novel. One was the shock of Rennard's betrayal to the knighthood. Rennard and Huma were the Grand Master's closest colleagues. This was proven to be a false front on Rennard's part to try to get in close enough to kill the Grand Master. Also, when Huma faced the decision whether to kill or free the Dragonqueen, he found himself with a delima. His whole quest had been based on seeking and destroying the queen. When faced with the opportunity, he realized that he could not kill her. If he did, the balance between good and evil would be altered drastically. This would destroy his world. He was forced to let the Dragonqueen go free on the condition that she never return to his world again.

Apathy in The Stranger Essays

Apathy in The Stranger Essays Apathy in The Stranger Paper Apathy in The Stranger Paper Essay Topic: Literature The Stranger In The Stranger, Albert Camus portrays the main character of the novel, Meursault, as a largely apathetic character. Right from the beginning of the novel, when his mother passes away, something most people would think of as extremely tragic, his apathetic attitude is made apparent. This attitude continues throughout the novel, and can be clearly seen in Meursaults interactions with the other characters. One such interaction is between him and Marie, when she attempts to talk to him about marriage. The most prominent example of Meursaults apathy, however, is seen when he kills the Arab. This apathetic attitude of Meursaults persists throughout the novel, and is apparent in his relationships with strangers, to his romantic relationships, all the way through to his relationships with his immediate family. Right from the first two sentences of the novel, Camus already paints readers a picture of Meursault as being apathetic. Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I dont know (Camus 3). The fact that he talks about his mothers death so nonchalantly is an obvious expression of his apathetic nature. While it is true that Meursault sincerely does not know the details of his mothers death, for all that was said in the telegram from the home (Camus 3) was Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow (Camus 3). Because of this, one would assume that Meursault would be having racing thoughts of what the circumstances were surrounding Mamans death. This is not the case, though, as his first thoughts are how he will take the two oclock bus and get there in the afternoon. That way [he] can be there for the vigil and come back tomorrow night (Camus 3). The fact that his first worry is being aback home as soon as possible is a clear insight into his apathetic nature. Once Meursault gets to the funeral home and talks to the director, his apathy continues to show and it becomes apparent to readers that he was apathetic to his mother even while she was alive, as he says to the direction, I didnt go [to visit Maman] much this past year It took up my Sunday not to mention the trouble of getting to this bus, buying tickets, and spending two hours traveling (Camus 5). Then, as the director continues to talk to him, Meursault admits that he wasnt really listening anymore (Camus 5). It appears as if Meursault Is not even taking his mothers death seriously at all, which is also seen when he dozed off for a while (Camus 9) during Mamans vigil. Thereby, readers are able to see, through his relationship, or lack of relationship, with his mother, and his indifference towards her death, that Meursault is a fundamentally apathetic person. After returning home after Mamans vigil, Meursault decided to go for a swim [so he] caught a streetcar to go to the public beach (Camus 19). Then, while at the beach, Meursault ran into Marie Cardona whom [hed] had a thing for at the time (Camus 19). It appears as if he was focusing a lot of attention on her, as he notes small details about her, such as that her hair was in her eyes and she was laughing (Camus 20), that a random passerby would not have noticed. It starts to seem as if Meursault finally met someone who is able to bring some sort of emotion out of him. This can be inferred by Meursaults actions towards Marie, such as when he let [his] head fall back and rest on her stomach (Camus 20), and when he put [his] arm around her waist, and [they] swam together (Camus 20). After they spent the night together at his house, Meursault tried to find the salty smell Maries hair had left on the pillow (Camus 21). It is actions like that which leader readers to believe that Meursault is sincerely developing feelings for Marie, and that he will finally be able to learn how to openly express emotion. It turns out, however, that this is just not the case. As Meursaults relationship with Marie develops, readers start to see his apathy again, though Marie apparently doesnt. Marie came by to see me and ask me if I wanted to marry her (Camus 41), Meursault says. The fact that Marie proposed to Meursault can signify that she felt that they were ready to take their relationship to the next level, but had no indication from him that he was going to ask for her hand, so she had to take the initiative. Then, Meursaults answer, I said that it didnt make any difference to me and that we could if she wanted to (Camus 41), confirms this assumption. He goes on to say, I probably didnt love her (Camus 41). That signifies that Meursault actually did not have any intentions of marrying Marie, but rather was using her for his own pleasure. Their relationship, according to him, was little more than physical. Also, the fact Meursault had such a casual attitude towards marriage shows that he does not really care much about it. Thus, the first impression that readers get about Meursaults attitude towards Marie is wildly misleading, as it made readers start to believe that Meursault might actually have some type of emotions within him that he was able to express. In the end, however, Meursaults relationship with Marie is ultimately another example of how much of an apathetic person Meursault truly is. The most prominent example of how Meursaults relationships with others allow readers to see his sense of apathy, however, is his confrontation with the Arab. Meursault originally claimed that he was stepping towards the Arab in an attempt to get away from the gleaming sun, though he then says, I knew that it was stupid, that I wouldnt get the sun off me by stepping forward. But I took a step, one step, forward (Camus 59). It was only after seeing Meursault move towards him that the Arab drew him knife and held it up to [Meursault] (Camus 59). So, Meursault possibly knew that by taking that single step, he would be causing a problem between the Arab and himself. Nevertheless, he still did not care, and continued to take that step. It is then that Meursaults apathetic disposition becomes even more visible in his relationship with the Arab, when he shots the Arab, especially because he seems as if he is shooting the Arab not because of their previous problem, but rather because of his anger towards the heat. Meursault uses the analogy of a knife to describe the sun. In regards to the sun, he says It was like a long flashing blade cutting at my forehead that slashed at my eyelashes and stabbed at my stinging eyes (Camus 59). Though this was due to the fact that the Arab raised his knife in the first place because, after he rose it, the light shot off the steal (Camus 59) towards Meursault, it is not as if the Arab deliberately intended for that to happen, since he was just raising his knife in self defense. It was simply Meursaults apathy getting the best of him, so much in fact that, even after he shot the Arab once, he fired four more times at the motionless body (Camus 59). Relationships that most people would hold near and dear to their hearts, such as that with their mother, or with their significant other, seem to mean nothing to Meursault. Though Meursault does not have a personal relationship with the Arab, the idea of taking the life of another human being does not seem to faze Meursault, either. Therefore, it is these relationships that Meursault has with others throughout the novel that demonstrate Meursaults apathetic nature. They are essential aspects of the plotline of the story, as they allow for the whole theme of existentialism to be established, using Meursaults apathy as a prime illustration of this theme.

Repairing a MySQL Database With phpMyAdmin

Repairing a MySQL Database With phpMyAdmin Using MySQL with PHP expands and enhances the features you can offer on your website. One of the most popular methods of managing a MySQL database is through phpMyAdmin, which is already on most web servers. Occasionally, database tables become corrupt and you are no longer able to access them or they dont respond as quickly as youd like. In phpMyAdmin, the process of checking the table and repairing it  so you can access the data again is fairly simple. Before you begin, make a backup of the database in case phpMyAdmin cant repair it. Checking Your Database in phpMyAdmin Log in to your web host.Click the phpMyAdmin icon. If your host uses  cPanel, look there.Choose the affected database. If you only have one database, it should  be chosen  by default so you dont need to do anything.In the main panel, you should see a list of your database tables.  Click  Check All  to select all of them.At the bottom of the window just below the list of tables, there is a drop-down menu. Choose  Check Table  from the menu. When the page refreshes, you will see a summary of any table that may be corrupted. If you receive any errors, repair the table. phpMyAdmin Repair Steps Log in to your web host.Click the phpMyAdmin icon.  Choose the affected database.  In the main panel, you should see a list of your database tables. Click Check All to select all of them.Choose Repair Table  from the drop-down menu at the bottom of the screen. When the page refreshes, you should see a summary of any tables that were repaired. This should fix your database and let you access it again. Now that it is fixed, its a good idea to make that database backup.